This ‘bro’ told me to make him a sandwitch and suck him. I told me to make me one and go down on me then Ill blow him. So HE made ME a sandwitch and went down on me and then I acted like I was gunna do him, but instead I left saying YOUR LIFE ISNT TOO BRO NOW IS IT. it was great, MLIH

hey bitches. make me a fucking sandwich. then you can post your shit.

I thought my life was complete when I found mylifeisbro.com. Then I found this.

GOOD NEWS, I GOT WIFI IN THE KITCHEN!

Bros before hos? okay. let me see your bro fuck you, clean your house, suck your dick, and then make you a sandwich.

If I get, for example, 1000 chills, that’s how many times my boyfriend will fuck me. so help a ho out.

boy: what’s up?
Me: your dick after I take off my shirt.

I wear cherry chapstick, and ive kissed more girls then guys and im completely straight. Katy would be proud

I failed highschool last year, I said fuck this, I’ll be a stripper

I say thank you after giving head.

This site should be renamed My Life Is In The Kitchen.

when you use this site as your twitter you know youre a ho.

I’m a bro. Today i realized some of these submissions must be fake. lets be real, no girl knows how to work a computer in the kitchen with their oven mitts on.

If women think they aren’t meant to cook, why do they have eggs and milk inside of them?

I haven’t been able to walk normally for weeks. MLIH

I’m naked

Spitters are quitters. Nuff said.

Today my bf asked why i’ve been so quiet recently. I told him that its rude to talk when your mouth is full. MLIH

last week everyone saw the naked pics i sent to a guy this week i was voted homecoming queen

today my bf asked me if i wanted to eat out, I was very dissapointed when he actually meant go out for food.